thankful for lice...

well it has been almost 2 years since my last post and a lot has happened.  oliver is a happy, energetic 2 year old that fills out life with joy and love everyday.  we added a new furry family member, kismah, a gentle german shepherd that loves to be around people.  i am still teaching and dominic is still working for GE.  i am currently pregnant with our 2nd child, a little boy.
i recently attended a workshop about the brain and struggling learners and discovered that writing a journal is something that actually calms the brain and body in times of stress.  this new knowledge came to me today as i was contacted by my dr.  the call was not a good one, my test results from my lyme test were positive.
let me start at the beginning...
about a month or so ago my school was going through what i like to call an outbreak of lice in most of the classrooms. if you are like me just hearing the word lice makes you start to scratch your head and feel uncomfortable...my fellow teachers and i would spend time most every day checking each other for nits.  we began to feel a bit like a family of monkeys.  it was a monday morning and i went to the school's secretary to have her check my head for lice.  what she found was far worse than the nits she could have seen...she found a red ring on the right side of my head just behind my ear.  now in my world of living with lyme disease this is not something you ever want to find or hear someone say they have found.  this typically means and definitely for me, means that i was relapsing with lyme.  if it were just me involved things could be somewhat simple...get on the combination of drugs that we know knocks it into remission and be done until the next round flares up.  but this is not the case since i am pregnant.  i did the best i could not to freak out...i called and got an appointment with my dr. for that friday.
i'm not sure how i got through the week?  but friday finally came...with being pregnant it is tough to tell what symptoms are pregnancy related and what could be a lyme relapse...my dr. told me of a new (4 months or so old) test that cultures your blood and looks for the actual spirochetes.  the only catch is that insurance doesn't cover it and the cost is about $600.  the price was worth it because the risks of not knowing were too high for my baby.
fast forward to this morning...i don't work until mid-morning on fridays and was taking advantage of this fact by sleeping in.  my phone rang and i saw the number for my dr.  the sinking feeling in my stomach worsened as he began to speak.  there was no doubt according to the results...i have active lyme flowing in my blood and body.  i did what i could to finish out the conversation with my dr. but the tears took over.  the fears and what if's are overwhelming...here is what i remember hearing the dr. say.
- untreated there is a 50/50 chance the baby will be sick
-with treatment the chance drops to 5% or less
-i need to be on 2 different antibiotics for the remainder of the pregnancy
after getting off the phone i spent some time crying and wishing that things were different and that i had never been bitten by that horrible tick.  wallowing in self-pity doesn't get one anywhere positive.
it was during a nice hot shower that i began to pray...for me, for protection for my baby and for strength.
the drive to school is short but full of thoughts...the question came to me...what am i to learn from this disease this time around?
i don't know why this is happening? i don't see the bigger picture.  i trust in God and know that we are in his hands.
i still have questions, am scared, and worry about my baby.  this disease is the hardest thing that i have ever had to deal with in my life.  it is a disease that i wouldn't wish on anyone!
it is an ongoing journey...it does not end...it is a constant battle to stay healthy or to get healthy...
i am grateful that this is my journey...there are many with far worse roads to travel.