Life In Bristol, Vermont

thankful for lice...

2012-01-06T20:46:00.000-05:00

well it has been almost 2 years since my last post and a lot has happened. oliver is a happy, energetic 2 year old that fills out life with joy and love everyday. we added a new furry family member, kismah, a gentle german shepherd that loves to be around people. i am still teaching and dominic is still working for GE. i am currently pregnant with our 2nd child, a little boy.
i recently attended a workshop about the brain and struggling learners and discovered that writing a journal is something that actually calms the brain and body in times of stress. this new knowledge came to me today as i was contacted by my dr. the call was not a good one, my test results from my lyme test were positive.
let me start at the beginning...
about a month or so ago my school was going through what i like to call an outbreak of lice in most of the classrooms. if you are like me just hearing the word lice makes you start to scratch your head and feel uncomfortable...my fellow teachers and i would spend time most every day checking each other for nits. we began to feel a bit like a family of monkeys. it was a monday morning and i went to the school's secretary to have her check my head for lice. what she found was far worse than the nits she could have seen...she found a red ring on the right side of my head just behind my ear. now in my world of living with lyme disease this is not something you ever want to find or hear someone say they have found. this typically means and definitely for me, means that i was relapsing with lyme. if it were just me involved things could be somewhat simple...get on the combination of drugs that we know knocks it into remission and be done until the next round flares up. but this is not the case since i am pregnant. i did the best i could not to freak out...i called and got an appointment with my dr. for that friday.
i'm not sure how i got through the week? but friday finally came...with being pregnant it is tough to tell what symptoms are pregnancy related and what could be a lyme relapse...my dr. told me of a new (4 months or so old) test that cultures your blood and looks for the actual spirochetes. the only catch is that insurance doesn't cover it and the cost is about $600. the price was worth it because the risks of not knowing were too high for my baby.
fast forward to this morning...i don't work until mid-morning on fridays and was taking advantage of this fact by sleeping in. my phone rang and i saw the number for my dr. the sinking feeling in my stomach worsened as he began to speak. there was no doubt according to the results...i have active lyme flowing in my blood and body. i did what i could to finish out the conversation with my dr. but the tears took over. the fears and what if's are overwhelming...here is what i remember hearing the dr. say.
- untreated there is a 50/50 chance the baby will be sick
-with treatment the chance drops to 5% or less
-i need to be on 2 different antibiotics for the remainder of the pregnancy
after getting off the phone i spent some time crying and wishing that things were different and that i had never been bitten by that horrible tick. wallowing in self-pity doesn't get one anywhere positive.
it was during a nice hot shower that i began to pray...for me, for protection for my baby and for strength.
the drive to school is short but full of thoughts...the question came to me...what am i to learn from this disease this time around?
i don't know why this is happening? i don't see the bigger picture. i trust in God and know that we are in his hands.
i still have questions, am scared, and worry about my baby. this disease is the hardest thing that i have ever had to deal with in my life. it is a disease that i wouldn't wish on anyone!
it is an ongoing journey...it does not end...it is a constant battle to stay healthy or to get healthy...
i am grateful that this is my journey...there are many with far worse roads to travel.

surgery day

2010-01-19T15:37:00.000-05:00

january 11, 2009 was a big day for the frank family...our little man had surgery to repair a partial unilateral cleft lip...it was an intense experience...we are grateful that it was as minor as a cleft lip...we arrived at the hospital around 9:30am and got registered...they took us back into a room in the pre-op area...

in pre-op room

in surgery gown in pre-op room

mom & oliver before surgery

dad & oliver before surgery

last family photo before surgery

dad dressed to take oliver into the operating room

still sleeping after surgery

our half of the room we shared

after surgery listening to the dr.

little guy with his iv

first family photo after surgery

thank you to everyone for the prayers, well wishes and positive thoughts sent our way!

Oliver & Bonaire

2010-01-14T18:24:00.000-05:00

we were lucky enough to be able to spend 3 weeks down in bonaire this year for christmas and new years...this was the first time opa (my dad) and omi (sharon) and nonnie had ever met oliver...

opa & oliver

omi & oliver

nonnie & oliver

we spent the first half of our vacation with nana shelly and doc over at harbor village...oliver spent time on the beach, he even put his toes in the ocean...

not a bad spot to get to be

first time in the ocean

he also met Doc, Auntie Coco (Courtney) and Uncle Carson for the first time

Doc & Oliver

Auntie Coco & Oliver

Uncle Carson & Oliver

picures during the last 3 months

2010-01-05T16:56:00.000-05:00

Oliver's first day

Nana Shelly & Oliver @ 3 weeks old

Papa the Great & Oliver @ 3 weeks old

Grammy & Oliver @ 4 weeks old

Grandpa Mike, Uncles Josh & Sam with Oliver @ 4 1/2 weeks

Grandma Jolene & Oliver @ 4 1/2 weeks old

Oliver's first Halloween

Oliver and Thura (the cat) getting to know each other

Oliver's first Thanksgiving

lots to catch up on...

2010-01-05T15:17:00.001-05:00

well when i last posted i was HUGE and very ready to have our baby...well it has been about 3 1/2 months and we are starting to get into the swing of parenting...it has been an amazing journey so far....the whole labor and delivery experience was far better and more intense then i thought it was going to be...dominic, oliver and i spent the first 2 weeks alone trying to adjust to our new life...wow...no one told us how little sleep we would get..haaaaaa...nana shelly (dom's mom) came out to visit after 2 weeks...it was great, she was a ton of help and left us with a lot of food in the freezer...my mom (grammy) came our after nana shelly's visit...again great to have help and she left even more food for us...then grandpa mike, grandma jolene, uncle sam and uncle josh (dom's dad, step-mom and brothers) came to visit...it was great to have more help again and more food...oh yeah my papa (papa the great to oliver) came to visit as well for a day...
after all of our visitors left we settled into life...we spent thanksgiving with seth and his family...we left early december for bonaire...we spent 3 weeks with my dad (opa) sharon (omi), nonnie, nana shelly and doc (richard) over christmas and new years...
we are back home now and going to a lot of dr. appts. to get prepped for oliver's surgery on monday the 11th...

new year's plan

2010-01-04T12:45:00.001-05:00

i got this idea from oliver's nana shelly...i am going to take a picture (or more) a day of oliver and post it on a blog here is the link if you are interested in it
oliver

40 week photos...official due date!!!

2009-09-13T16:49:00.008-04:00

was really hoping that we wouldn't get to the point where we were actually taking pictures at 40 weeks...was hoping the pictures would be of the baby not my belly...BUT no such luck...so belly it is...i think the biggest difference between 9 months and 10 months is the fact that my belly is lower because he has dropped down...

we have made it to 40 weeks...baby in 41st week of growth

2009-09-13T14:04:00.002-04:00

well today is officially our due date...which doesn't mean a whole lot other then we know that we will def. have a baby within 2 weeks...one way or the other...here is his growth this week...

Your pregnancy: 41 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

A bit over 20 inches long, your baby has continued to grow and may now weigh almost 8 pounds. As cozy as he is, your baby can't stay inside you forever. For your baby's safety, your practitioner will talk with you about inducing labor if your baby isn't born in the next week — earlier if there are any problems. Most practitioners won't let you wait more than two weeks past your due date to give birth because it puts you and your baby at increased risk for complications. About 5 to 6 percent of women have prolonged pregnancies that extend three or more weeks beyond their estimated due dates. Babies born at 42 weeks and beyond can have dry parchment-like skin and are often overweight. Waiting that long to deliver also increases your chance of developing an infection in your uterus that could be dangerous for your baby or of having a stillbirth. What's more, your labor is more likely to be prolonged or stalled, both you and your baby have an increased risk of injury during a vaginal delivery, and you double your chances of needing a c-section.

40th week of growth...we're getting there

2009-09-06T11:50:00.000-04:00

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

It's hard to say for sure how big your baby will be, but the average newborn weighs about 7 1/2 pounds (a small pumpkin) and is about 20 inches long. His skull bones are not yet fused, which allows them to overlap a bit if it's a snug fit through the birth canal during labor. This so-called "molding" is the reason your baby's noggin may look a little conehead-ish after birth. Rest assured — it's normal and temporary.

lots of contractions but none that are moving to the next level

2009-08-30T14:49:00.001-04:00

growth during week 39...yeah...14 days until the due date!!

Your pregnancy: 39 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's waiting to greet the world! He continues to build a layer of fat to help control his body temperature after birth, but it's likely he already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of his skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

full term...yeah

2009-08-23T17:59:00.001-04:00

here we are in our 38th week of growth...check it out...

Your pregnancy: 38 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

a trip through the months in pics

2009-08-16T20:45:00.010-04:00

month 3 on the left and month 4 on the right

month 5 on the left and month 6 on the right

month 7

month 8

month 9

well there you go...hope you got as big of a laugh out of them as i did...

pics at 9 months...

2009-08-16T20:35:00.004-04:00

i am HUGE!!!! can only imagine what the next few weeks will bring....

we made it...9 months...36 weeks..

2009-08-16T15:03:00.001-04:00

growth during this week

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Congratulations — your baby will be full term at the end of this week! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.

Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz.

sunday, sunday, sunday

2009-08-12T15:45:00.002-04:00

i feel like a commercial for the monster truck show...haaaaaaaa...we went to the midwife today and found out that if we go into labor before sunday (36 weeks) we won't be able to have our midwives...we would have to go to the bigger hospital in burlington so the baby could be monitored for 24 hours...so i am back to laying low and not doing a whole lot until sunday...
on a positive note:
*it's already wednesday so as my dad would say...thurs, fri, sat
*im not going to get this rest time once the baby comes so i should take advantage of it now
*i still get to go to my prenatal yoga class

i am thinking this little guy might want to join us sooner rather then later as long as he can wait til sunday im cool with that...he is def. dropped down pretty low and i am starting to get the waddle walk at times...haaaaaaaaaa

35 weeks...we're getting there...

2009-08-09T12:33:00.002-04:00

after spending the past 2 weeks 'laying low' because of contractions (nothing major) i have been given the green light to return to normal activity!! i am very excited about this...it has been tough to be lazy...seriously...
here is this upcoming week's growth..

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

day at the pool with friends

2009-08-02T13:45:00.003-04:00

we finally had a day without rain...it was beautiful...here are a few pics...

running out of room in the belly...

2009-08-01T22:27:00.002-04:00

i am def. feeling this guy get bigger...he is running out of space...he is in the head down position which means that his little butt is under one side of my ribs while his feet are busy kicking under the other side...haaaaaaaa i wonder if he will be this active once he is out? we might be in for a handful if he is...

here is what he is doing this week...

Your pregnancy: 35 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

BABYMOON...one last getaway...

2009-07-31T11:36:00.011-04:00

this is where dominic and i escaped to this past weekend for our babymoon...this is larry and mary's house in connecticut...this house has been a labor of love for them for the past 12-15 years...you should see the before, during and after photos...amazing!! it is beautiful and comfortable and welcoming...
this is the path leading up to the pool area...thankfully it was beautiful while we were there and we were able to enjoy it...
this was so great to be able to relax in the water and stay cool...
this is where we spent our evenings after having fantastic food for dinner...larry got a fire going and we all just chilled out...
on saturday larry and mary had some neighbors over to hang around the pool...rod is standing in the background holding a potato cannon...dominic is holding the potato...this became a very fun game for them...shooting potatoes into the woods...
dom had a great time with this and no doubt we will own one at some point in time and he will be shooting potatoes off into our woods with our little guy...

this was a great getaway weekend for us...larry and mary were amazing and we had a blast spending time with them...thanks guys!!!

my stomach grew a full inch since thursday...

2009-07-26T21:57:00.000-04:00

Your pregnancy: 34 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.

pics from wedding and holy matriwiffle

2009-07-19T20:20:00.002-04:00

here are some links to pics posted from our wedding day and the holy matriwiffle game the day after the wedding...

matriwiffle

wedding pics

8 months and still growing...

2009-07-19T20:14:00.004-04:00

well we are 8 months today...feels like we are getting close but then i think about the fact that we aren't due until sept. 13th...but time is passing...hopefully i can stay somewhat comfortable until then...haaaaaaa
here are some pics from today...

i can't even imagine how much bigger im going to get...thank goodness for cocoa butter!!

growth during the upcoming week

2009-07-19T20:02:00.000-04:00

Your pregnancy: 33 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. He's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

dominic & mikaela from the beginning...

2009-07-16T22:03:00.003-04:00

here is a link to a movie that shelly, dom's mom, put together for us for our wedding weekend...if you have time check it out...very well done...
thanks shelly!!!

movie

wedding video...

2009-07-15T22:05:00.002-04:00

here is a video of our wedding that Richard put together for us...
wedding video

i tried to upload it to this post but couldn't figure it out...sorry...i will post pics as i get them from people...

growth in week 32

2009-07-13T10:20:00.000-04:00

Your pregnancy: 32 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.

GOT WATER??? wedding hurdles

2009-07-08T21:08:00.006-04:00

so the other day i was taking a shower and the water slowly began to trickle and eventually stopped flowing altogether...we thought it might be because the filter needed to be changed so we did that...got up this morning and things seemed to be all fine and dandy...until this morning after i had done 2 loads of laundry and dominic went to turn on the faucet in the kitchen and nothing came out...not even a trickle...i said 'you've got to be kidding me'...dom got right on it and called the people that put our well in when the house was built...they were up and taking a look at things within a couple hours...they confirmed what we were hoping wasn't true...OUR WELL WAS DRY...we were given the name of someone to call who fills wells...we put a call into him...i was the one that answered the phone when he called back...he said he would be to our house first thing tomorrow (thursday) morning...i told him we were getting married this weekend and had a bunch of people coming into town and what did 'first thing' mean to him...he said between 7:30 and 8am...i said great...he called back a few minutes later and said he told his other client that he had to come tonight to our house...said i sounded more desperate...so he was at our house within an hour filling our well...here are some pics that charity took...i think i might look somewhat small compared to the tanker truck...

30 weeks and still kicking

2009-07-05T16:25:00.001-04:00

well here we are at 30 weeks...doesn't seem far off when i say we have 10 weeks until our due date but sounds like ages away when i say mid-september..haaaaa...here is what is happening growthwise this week with our little guy...

How your baby's growing:

This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

week 30 growth...weight of a cabbage

2009-06-28T21:37:00.000-04:00

Your pregnancy: 30 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)

baby's first lobster

2009-06-21T12:44:00.011-04:00

last weekend dominic and i went to roxbury, maine for the 3rd year in a row for a lobsterfest...this is an amazing event to be a part of...the yard is full of rv's and tents...the garage is full of food, chairs and people playing music until the wee hours of the morning...
this is sunday morning...some of the rv's had already left...
this is the rv that we stayed in...
saturday is the big day of lobster...i was a little nervous because since being pregnant things don't always taste as good as the did before being pregnant...this is baby's first lobster
thankfully the lobster tasted great..as well as all the other food they had there...we had a great time hanging with friends and relaxing...here is a pic of the river across the road from where we stayed...
a good time was had by all...except maybe the lobsters..

growth this week...butternut squash

2009-06-21T12:37:00.001-04:00

Your pregnancy: 29 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.

7 months...first pics in a swimsuit...yikes...haha

2009-06-21T12:32:00.002-04:00

well here we are at 28 weeks...7 months...hard to believe and yet def. ready to meet this little guy...i don't really feel any bigger then i did at 6 months..??? i went to my first pre-natal yoga class last thursday and will be going again for 10 more weeks leading up the birth...hopefully it will help tone, strengthen and relax me as the birth approaches...so these are pics in the only swimsuit i have found so far that doesn't look absolutely horrendous...

entering the third trimester...wow

2009-06-15T17:29:00.001-04:00

Your pregnancy: 28 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.

14 weeks to go....

2009-06-07T14:34:00.002-04:00

wow...can't hardly believe that we are already 6 1/2 months along...and yet i am def. hitting the first point of frustration...not being able to be as independent as i like to be...simple things like tying my shoes, bending over to pick something up, getting up from laying on my back or sitting, finding shirts that don't make me look like a big fruit, finding a cute swimsuit (which is nearly impossible for pregnant women), starving but only able to fit a few bites in before i am full...all such fun stuff...haaaa

on the amazing side of things...this little guy has been moving a ton and loves to listen music, my voice and dominic's voice....so crazy to see my stomach moving...a friend described it as watching a 3-ring circus inside his wife's belly....so true...

well here is what is happening this week with our little one...

Your pregnancy: 27 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.

english hothouse cucumber...where do they get the comparisons?

2009-05-31T19:49:00.000-04:00

Your pregnancy: 26 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel. If you're having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take about two to three days.

belly shots 6 months 3 days

2009-05-29T19:00:00.006-04:00

dominic was out of town the day we hit 6 months but we took pictures are few days later...here you go...
i am losing my belly button literally by the day...i think ill have to change my belly ring out soon for the new one we got a couple weeks ago...haaaaaaa

baby room

2009-05-25T20:32:00.006-04:00

well we don't have all the things we have ordered for the baby's room...the changing table/dresser is on back order and won't be here until mid-june...but we have our crib and the decorations on the walls....here are some pics...
the changing table will go here...

over a foot long...

2009-05-24T15:31:00.000-04:00

Your pregnancy: 25 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture.

all as it should be...

2009-05-20T20:49:00.002-04:00

today we had our appt. with the genetic dr. and the fetal echocardiogram to take a look at the baby's heart and make sure there was nothing wrong (having a cleft lip can be connected with heart defects)...but much to our relief everything with our little guy's heart is normal...all the parts are there and doing what they should be doing...thanks for the thoughts and prayers...

alien...

2009-05-17T11:40:00.002-04:00

i worked at dan's place thurs, fri, and sat this past week...we had live music on thurs and sat...our little guy was moving like crazy while the live music was playing...i got home last night and laid on my back and watched my stomach...it was the first time that i have been able to see my stomach move from his movements....it was so amazing and a little creepy...haaaaaaaa
here is what is happening during this upcoming week of growth...

Your pregnancy: 24 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since he's almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he'll soon start to plump up. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

mother's day weekend

2009-05-10T15:37:00.007-04:00

this weekend has been great...i came home thursday to a dozen mixed color roses from dominic's dad and step-moim with a card that said happy mother's day for the mom-to-be...saturday had dom and i doing yard work in the morning...dom mowed the lawn (i tried but i think the noise of the mower was upsetting the little guy because he was really kicking me) so i moved down to a garden that we have in the backyard...the previous owners planted tulips in this garden...
this garden had black plastic edging that surrounded it...it was in bad shape and looked tacky so dom tore it out for me...he has been collecting small rocks and boulders from around our property for me to use as a border....so i put the new rock boulder edging in place, weeded the garden and cleaned it up...here are some pics of what it looks like now...
this next picture is of the herb garden part of the garden...
the weekend has ended with my grandma rene's buttermilk pancakes with bacon, a couple of naps, mom-to-be card from shelly and richard, and phone calls filled with happy mother's day wishes....thank you to everyone

my biggest wish for mother's day was to be able to feel our little guy moving with my hands....while watching tom and jerry this morning in bed with my hands on my belly i felt him a couple of times...dom got to feel it too....i almost started to cry...thank you little guy for the movement!!

dancing with mom now...

2009-05-10T14:24:00.000-04:00

Your pregnancy: 23 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango), you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze her

length of a spaghetti squash...almost 1lb

2009-05-04T16:09:00.000-04:00

Your pregnancy: 22 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

slideshows from the weekend

2009-04-27T21:02:00.002-04:00

this first slide show is from the bbq that joy had at her house...

http://www.bonaireimages.com

ENTER Flash site

click on PROOFING

password is:

BBQ

this second slide show is from the baby shower that my mom and sisters threw for me...

To view slide show of Kaela’s baby shower please click on link

http://www.bonaireimages.com

ENTER Flash site

click on PROOFING

password for Kaela’s baby shower is:

baby

thank you very much to shelly for putting these together and to both shelly and charity for taking the pics...

shopping fun

2009-04-27T20:53:00.005-04:00

so i have discovered that i really enjoy shopping for clothes right now because i don't have that thought "oh, these don't fit but ill lose enough weight for them to fit"...now i have the thought "i like this and i will end up growing into it" haaaaaaaaaa let me tell you ladies...jean shopping has never been so fun...haaaaaaaaaa
here are some pics from maternity clothes shopping with my sisters joy and faith this past friday...

20 weeks for real this time

2009-04-27T20:42:00.005-04:00

so we thought we were at 20 weeks last sunday but we were a week off...we actually hit 20 weeks this past sunday...so we took new pics...and i think i popped a little this past week...

pics at 5 months...

2009-04-20T11:20:00.004-04:00

well we took pics today since we hit 20 weeks yesterday...im telling ya i feel much bigger then these pics seem to make me look...haaaaaa i still have 4 months of growing to do...
enjoy....

week 21 growth

2009-04-19T10:02:00.001-04:00

Your pregnancy: 21 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like she's practicing martial arts as her initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to her activity as you get to know her better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now, and if you're having a girl, her vagina has begun to form as well.

length of a banana

2009-04-12T13:50:00.001-04:00

we have reached week 19 and heading through week 20...wow 5 months...crazy...

Your pregnancy: 20 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)

He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

skipping week 18 and being in week 19

2009-04-05T19:13:00.003-04:00

well i went to the midwife for what i thought was my 16 week appt. but found out we were off in our calculations and we are actually 18 weeks...so this post will include what happened during week 18 and what is going to be happening this week...we also have an ultrasound scheduled for april 21st...we should be able to find out what we are having assuming the baby is facing the correct way...haaaaaaaaaa

Your pregnancy: 18 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

Your pregnancy: 19 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.

Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

this info is all from babycenter.com

baby's growth during week 17

2009-03-29T19:51:00.000-04:00

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop.

im pretty sure we are going to have an active baby based on how often ive been feeling it move around...

4 months and still just chubby looking

2009-03-29T19:18:00.005-04:00

well today we officially made it to 4 months...over the past month some really fun things have happened...i felt the baby move for the first time...it felt like a little fish swimming around in my belly...so crazy...can only imagine what it will feel like when it is less alien feeling...i have also received a ton of maternity clothes from my friend jen...it is great to be able to wear cute, trendy clothes that fit...here are some pics that a friend of mine took today...(dominic is out of town working)

i swear i look pregnant when i look down at my belly...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

baby's heart is pumping blood...

2009-03-22T19:50:00.001-04:00

what's happening this week????

How your baby's growing:

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

16 week appt. is april 1...4 month pics of belly will be posted in a week or so...

baby action this week...

2009-03-16T16:07:00.002-04:00

we are in week 15 folks...couple more weeks and i should be able to feel all the movement this little one is doing...

How your baby's growing:

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")
www.babycenter.com

what's up with the baby right now???

2009-03-08T19:54:00.002-04:00

shelly suggested that i should post what is happening with the baby as time goes by...i thought it was a great idea...so here goes...we are 13 weeks pregnant today...so here is what happened in the 13th week...(the website i look at most is babycenter.com)

How your baby's growing:

Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.

this all still absolutely floors me...so amazing i have a little person growing inside of me...yikes...haaa

here is what is going to be happening this week...we are in week 14...

How your baby's growing:

This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.

In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

thanks for keeping up with all the growing...haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

feeling pregnant but looking chubby!!!

2009-03-04T19:06:00.005-05:00

well we are in our 13th week and we decided to take pics of my belly...a few for every month...i was a little bummed out when i saw them because from the view i have of my belly i think i look pregnant but when i saw the pictures i realized that i just look chubby? i didn't really want to post them but i guess this is the way things go early on...i promised to share things along the way...

baby on board

2009-03-01T19:27:00.003-05:00

dom and i had the pleasure of sharing with our families that we are 3 months pregnant...we are due mid-september...the 13th is the official due date...we had our 12 week appointment with our midwife on friday and heard the heartbeat for the first time...it was so incredible and amazing...words cannot describe it...
we were also able to have an ultrasound at just about 9 weeks...the following is the picture from that visit...the baby was about 2.8cm long...we couldn't hear the heartbeat at this point but saw the flutter of it and found out it was beating nice and strong at 162 beats a min...
pretty amazing stuff...keep checking back for more updates...the next appointment with the midwife is April 1st...

valentine's day surprise

2009-02-15T16:56:00.005-05:00

this was the 3rd valentine's day that dominic and i have been together but the first time we have gotten to spend it together...i received flowers on thursday afternoon...they are beautiful...friday night while i was working some friends of ours asked if we wanted to join them saturday night for dinner at a restuarant in new york...we said sure since we hadn't planned anything big...they were going to call the next day and find out if they could add us to the reservation...saturday morning came and dom and i went to breakfast in town...we came home and watched a movie...i took a nap...around 2:30 dom said he was going into town to get food for dinner just in case we werent able to be added to dinner...he was gone for over an hour...in that time our friends called and said that we were able to join them...we needed to leave our house by 4:30...dominic got home and we got ready to leave...i, as usual, took longer to get ready then dom...he was downstairs waiting for me...i walked downstairs and he told me that i looked good but that i would look even better with this on my hand....at this point he pulled out a ring box....i started to cry and hug him...he asked me to marry him and i said yes...we were both tearing up...lots of hugging and kissing...i said yes...then opened the ring box...it was so amazing!!! (he was gone for over an hour because he called my dad, picked the ring up at a friend's house where he had it delivered, and got food)
we went to dinner and had an impromptu engagement party with our friends...it was a great night! thank you to everyone for sharing our excitement with us...the following are pictures of my ring...

Thanksgiving in Vermont

2009-01-28T12:52:00.007-05:00

dominic and i spent thanksgiving at seth's mom's place in orwell...it was a great time...and so nice of them to invite us and include us in the day...jean lives on a farm down there...they have a multitude of sheep...
they also have 2 emu...bert and gert...these are some of the strangest looking creatures ive seen..
we had a great time with seth's family...they are great people!!!
a few days after thanksgiving dominic and i had our own thanksgiving dinner...i wanted to have one in our new house...start some traditions...this is the first turkey we did..it turned out amazing!!!
we were very happy with the meal when we finally got it all done...i think we'll try it again next year...

I'm still alive!!!!

2008-12-07T13:50:00.011-05:00

that's me mowing our lawn this summer...since my last post (i know forever ago) a lot has happened...early june dominic and i took a trip out to northern california...we went to a friend's wedding, visited napa valley and left with some of it's wine, stayed with our friend carrie in san francisco...
the view from the inside looking out at one of the vineyards we did a wine tasting at...amazing
up close and personal with the grapes and the owner of this small but fantastic vineyard...tres sabores...they make a great wine called por que no?
we made it back to bristol just in time for the 4th of july parade in town...the outhouse races are a must see at least once...
this is an annual tradition that people train long and hard to participate in...very amusing...
the rest of july was spent packing up our apartment for the big move into our new house...thura wasn't sure what was going on but enjoyed finding new places and things to play in and with...
she insisted on crawling into any spot that once held something...she needed to know what it felt like being there....
packing paper became a favorite new toy...
i think at one point she thought this might be her best way to make the move as well...
the move was successful...two weeks after we were in we held our first party...it was great...
dominic has created a removable wiffleball field in our backyard...
as summer ended it brought with it the beginning of dominic's traveling for work and the start to my school year...teaching pe and 3/4 is going great...i love being able to get to know all the kids in the school personally...
the beginning of sept found me back in minnesota for a whirlwind of a weekend when my sister faith got married...
this is the same pose we had about 10 years ago when all down in grand cayman...

homeowners...

2008-06-23T15:28:00.010-04:00

well...a lot has happened since my last post...i am going to skip over all of it to the present day...dominic and i started looking online at houses in the area about 2 weeks ago...just to see what was out there...last week we went and took a look at a couple of them...one was amazing but too small the others were nothing special to speak of...then searching friday afternoon i found one on craigs list...since our realtor had her daughter's 2nd birthday party on sat. we emailed the selling agent to see if we could take a look at it...sat afternoon we went and looked at the house...neither of us was expecting a whole lot because how the exterior of the house being fairly simple...but we both fell in love with the interior...it is amazing...we came home called a mortgage company, got pre-approved and wrote up an offer with our realtor on sunday...we got the call this morning...they accepted our offer...we close on july 31st...we are excited but both somewhat is shock...we thought it would take a lot longer to find our "perfect" house...here are some pics...we have 10 acres...3 bedroom 2 bathroom...about 2000 finished square feet with another 1000 unfinished in the walkout basement...

first visit from a sister

2008-05-31T10:42:00.004-04:00

well memorial day was creeping up and it was looking like dom was going to have to stay in michigan and keep working...so i was thinking it would be nice to go somewhere or have someone come visit me....i called joy up and we discussed her coming out...we found a relatively cheap flight and she showed up friday night of memorial weekend...sat had us in lincoln at the town wide yard sale...that was a new concept for both of us...we had fun walking around and seeing people...then i took her to the school that i teach at and up the lincoln gap....sat night we made our way down to the bobcat after some mimosas at home...we had a couple beers and some appetizers...needless to say the beer is strong and the bed felt good that night...sunday was beautiful...i took joy hiking up the bristol ledges...it was a lot of fun...sunday night we stayed in...made enchiladas and drank wine...monday brought a whole new experience for joy...wiffmorial....we headed down to seth's place about 1pm...everybody started showing up shortly there after!!! it was great...it rained but the game and the grilling went on...it was great for joy to see where i live and to meet my friends out here....it was also very good for me to have the company of my sister...love you joy...thanks so much for coming to visit!!!

physical education...

2008-05-22T20:34:00.002-04:00

well it is official....i am the P.E. teacher at my school next year...i will be in the 3/4 multi-age classroom 50% of the day and then i will be the pe teacher...the pe position is 40% so that puts me at 90%...which is great!!! for those of you that don't know...i minored in pe when i was in my undergrad...i will have to some classes but hopefully not too many over the next 2 years...i am very excited about this and looking forward to being able to work with all the kids in the school....

the train ride of life

2008-05-19T17:02:00.001-04:00

dominic's mom shelly sent this to me this afternoon and i thought it was insightful and well worth the view...remember to enjoy the ride!!!!

train

thanks shelly for sharing!!!

mother's day hike

2008-05-11T16:10:00.009-04:00

well being as i am not a mother and don't have family to spend time with on mother's day i decided to take a peaceful hike up the mountain behind our place...i went up to the ledges...this is a place where you can see for miles...it was a pretty clear day...there were quite a few people up there that had the same idea i did...
this picture and the next two are pictures of our little town of bristol...it is a beautiful day here...sunny and 70 or so...perfect day to celebrate all the amazing mothers out there in our great world!!
thank you to all the mothers that have given so much of themselves to their children!!

chicks and elmer

2008-05-11T10:32:00.006-04:00

one of my students asked me to come over and see the baby chicks his grandpa is raising...the pics aren't great because of the red heat lamp but here they are...they are so cute...i then got to see elmer the rooster and his girls...i walked away with a dozen eggs as well...
he is very protective of his girls...
this was a very fun and interesting day for me...not something you get the chance to see in the suburbs of minnesota!!!

maggie's b-day in boston

2008-05-10T19:43:00.006-04:00

the weekend after i got back from bonaire we headed to boston to help maggie celebrate her 16th birthday...we went shopping sat. afternoon...we had an excellent dinner at a small italian place...it was great...afterwards we headed to fenway park to watch the boston red sox play tampa bay...we were just to the left of the green monster in the bleachers...the seats were pretty good...it was pretty cold and every once in awhile a cold breeze would come and chill us even more...but we had plenty of blankets to keep us warm...here are are maggie and ray...this was ray's first baseball game...don' t think they have it in holland
as you can see sharon, dad and annie are bundled up as much as they could get...
dom and i sat down a couple rows from the group...the guinness was cold and flowing...
the red sox won in big scoring fashion 12-4...the following morning had us eating breakfast at this great little french restaurant...dominic was completely happy with his french toast...he even took a picture of it...
happy birthday maggie...thanks for including us in your birthday celebrations!!!

island speed...bonaire

2008-04-26T15:11:00.008-04:00

i arrived on bonaire sunday morning april 20...i landed at 5am and walked out through customs with both of my massive suitcases and the cat at about 5:30am...i didn't see my dad, sharon or tiff anywhere...usually they are waving at me from a window as i walk off the plane onto the tarmac...i did catch sight of my grandma...nonnie...i called out to her twice saying nonnie...each time louder then used her real name of lou...still louder...apparently she didn't recognize me...after getting closer to her and her finally seeing who i was we sat to wait for the rest of the fam...after about 10 min. i asked nonnie if she had her cell phone with her and that if she did we could call them and see where they were...we made the call only to discover that the muffins were coming just coming out of the oven and they were on their way...we had mimosas and muffins in the parking lot...it was great to see everyone...
we spent the next couple days down by the pool...just relaxing...we went to Capriccio for dinner one night...we also spent a day on the mushi mushi celebrating dad's birthday... scott barlass everyone!!!!
i had to take thura to the vet down there to get a health certificate so she could come back into the states...the vet is dutch and has a pet goat that thinks it's a dog...the sunsets were beautiful...even thura spent time enjoying them as well...this was our last sunset on the island for this trip...she loved being out and about down on bonaire...
all in all it was a fantastic trip...i had a great time with dad, shar, nonnie and tiff...thanks for a great time!!

remission?????

2008-04-16T21:19:00.007-04:00

i went back to the lyme dr. a week ago...after having a long conversation about how i was doing he asked me if i was ready to get the PICC out...i told him that if he was teasing it wasn't very nice...he laughed and said he wasn't...
this is the picture of the last time i had to look down at my arm and see this...the following picture is of my dr. cutting the stitches out that held it in place for 2 1/2 months...
i was sooooooooooooo excited to feel this happening...it didn't hurt at all...i was expecting it to...
my dr. was kind enough to stop pulling half way so that his nurse could take this next photo...
this was such a huge day for me...i am off all antibiotics and have started a herbal regimen...i cycle through 3 different herbs...12 days on 1 then 2 days off then start the second herb...and so on...for those of you that like to do a little research i am on samento, cumando, banderol and burbur...i am doing ok...i have more energy then i have had in a long time...i am still a long way from being healthy...but i finally feel like im on the road to remission...i just need to remember that it is a slow process to health...but ill get there

thank you to a good friend...

2008-04-10T22:50:00.001-04:00

a good friend read my blog and sent me the following quote knowing how much i love quotes!!
thank you!!

you know life brings out its complications, its hardships,
but you know, it's how we deal with them that counts. and
i know that each and every one of you have felt, at
one point, like you couldn't go on. but then you found hope.
there's always some way to find hope. remember that.
-Nicholas Jerry Jonas

HOPE-lessness & HELP-lessness

2008-04-08T22:58:00.005-04:00

hopelessness and helplessness both have strong root words...HOPE and HELP...throughout my life have experienced both of these...i developed a variety of coping strategies to deal with these feelings...most of them involving extreme physical activity and/or exhibiting controlling behaviors...this journey through lyme began with me in a state of helplessness...i was shocked and scared when i was diagnosed...i spent the first 2 months spinning and drowning in the overwhelming feeling of helplessness...i couldn't use my normal coping skills to deal...the more research dominic did for me and the more processing i did, i started to move to the 'HELP' realm...through the combination of eastern and western medicine my lyme went into remission...this was short lived because 5 weeks later i relapsed...i spent a month gradually getting worse unaware that i was again suffering from lyme...i stayed fast in my HELP space and opted for extreme, aggressive treatment through iv antibiotics...the first month went by without the lyme responding...the second round of meds started along with a round of oral meds...after spending 2 hours everyday for the past 30 days letting antibiotics drip into my body i finally reached a breaking point this past week...i started to lose it...i was spent...mentally...emotionally...and physically...i had moved into the space of HOPELESSNESS...this was a new and difficult space for me...i have tried to be so strong and upbeat throughout this journey...and i am fed up...i spent the last few days feeling the despair that can drag you into depression...i came to the decision that i need a break from my meds...im not sure what it will do in terms of my lyme but i also have begun to learn that to be truly healthy i need to take care of my mental, emotional, and spiritual state of being...my decision to talk with my dr. about different options or a possible break has taken me across that fine line into a space of HOPE...after a very thought-provoking session with my counselor i think i finally realize that regardless of whether i feel a sense of helplessness or hopelessness there is always those strong, powerful root words HOPE and HELP...and between God, dominic, family and friends i am NOT alone...i will continue to accept this journey as an invitation of growth and amazing opportunities...thank you for riding with me!!

faith and lessons

2008-04-07T17:59:00.006-04:00

i know that there are lessons that life teaches us in many different ways...i have always known this but never so much as now dealing with a long term (possibly chronic) illness...

this past week or so have been extremely difficult for me and i am not entirely sure what has changed but i am exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally, i don't have much left...at least that's how i feel right now...

my papa sent this email out and it seem to hit a chord within me and i wanted to share it with you...it is a little long but well worth the read...

thanks for the continued support and prayers!!

This is an outstanding testimony from Tony Snow, President Bush's Press Secretary, and his fight with cancer. Commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow announced that he had colon cancer in 2005. Following surgery and chemotherapy, Snow joined the Bush Administration in April 2006 as press secretary. Unfortunately, on March 23, 2007, Snow, 51, a husband and father of three, announced the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen, - leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 30, but has resigned since, 'for economic reasons,' and to pursue ' other interests.' It needs little intro... it speaks for itself.
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'Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, - in my case, cancer. Those of us with potentially fatal diseases - and there are millions in America today - find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God's will. Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence 'What It All Means,' Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.

The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time trying to answer the 'why' questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can't someone else get sick? We can't answer such things, and the questions themselves often are designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.

I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, great and stunning truths begin to take shape. Our maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give out.

But despite this, - or because of it, - God offers the possibility of salvation and grace. We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.

Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying can send adrenaline flooding through your system. A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; you worry about the impact on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.

To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into life,- and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this earth. We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by a conviction that stirs even within many non-believing hearts - an intuition that the gift of life, once given, cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might, main, and faith to live fully, richly, exuberantly - no matter how their days may be numbered.

Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease, - smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see, - but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance; and comprehension - and yet don't. By His love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.

'You Have Been Called'. Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog of anesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet, a loved one holds your hand at the side. 'It's cancer,' the healer announces.

The natural reaction is to turn to God and ask him to serve as a cosmic Santa. 'Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything simpler.' But another voice whispers: 'You have been called.' Your quandary has drawn you closer to God, closer to those you love, closer to the issues that matter, - and has dragged into insignificance the banal concerns that occupy our 'normal time.'

There's another kind of response, although usually short-lived an inexplicable shudder of excitement, as if a clarifying moment of calamity has swept away everything trivial and tiny, and placed before us the challenge of important questions.

The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world shorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies. Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes (Spain), shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.

There's nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue, - for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give, the most we ever could offer, and the most we ever could do.

Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city. From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.

We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquire purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God's love for others. Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples' worries and fears.

'Learning How to Live'. Most of us have watched friends as they drifted toward God's arms, not with resignation, but with peace and hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and authority of love.

I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was a humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He retained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. 'I'm going to try to beat [this cancer],' he told me several months before he died. 'But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side.'

His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity, - filled with life and love we cannot comprehend, - and that one can in the throes of sickness point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.

Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don't matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?

When our faith flags, he throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things, and those of us who have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know: Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up, - to speak of us!

This is love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.

What is man that Thou art mindful of him? We don't know much, but we know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe, each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God's hand.'

T. Snow

short vent

2008-04-04T18:25:00.002-04:00

i am so sick of being sick...i have felt nauseous for the past 4 days...always feeling like im on the verge of being sick...i can't tell if it is lyme related, med related or some type of flu thing ive caught...but i can tell you that im not going to take being healthy for granted ever again!!!!!

isla mujeres

2008-04-03T20:50:00.017-04:00

this is where dominic and i were able to spend 4 days...it is a small island off the coast of cancun called isla mujeres...we stayed on mainland cancun but spent most all of our time on the island...it was our pace of things...very chilled way of life...dominic's cousin meghann got married a week ago this past wednesday on the island at sunset...
it was a beautiful day...meghann and her husband steve had an amazing start to their married life together...
we were able to spend time with some of dominic's family...
his dad, jolene and sam
emily, meghann and ellie
ellie, meghann and emily again trying to decide what type of pizza to get for dinner...
here is ella wearing the beach...
we spent the days after the wedding hanging out with meghann, steve, their families and friends...we went to dolphin discovery where sam swam with the dolphins and kissed one.
i fed a sloth vegetables and got up close to some other creatures...
and
..then we went to garrafón natural reef park...
this is one of the towers for the zip line...there are 3 parts to the zip line...we didn't do it because we got there late in the day...
meghann, steve, dominic and i chilling at the end of the day...
we had a good time...i think the sun was good for my lyme and my health...here's hoping spring comes soon...

easter in vermont

2008-03-23T21:14:00.003-04:00

i was invited down to seth's mom's place for easter...i was excited to join his family...i hadn't met any of them...i got down to the farm (about 45 min. away) about noon...soon after all the family started to arrive...there were loads of them...felt a lot like my house at family gatherings...i wish i would have had my camera with me because it was amazing to see all the people, the farm which has horses, sheep, emus...i had never seen an emu before...they are some crazy looking birds...they have laid eggs and the male is sitting on them keeping them warm...jean, seth's mom, found an egg outside of the nest and brought it into the house...the thing was huge!! and green...it actually looked fake...like she had painted it...very cool...it was a great easter

birthday surprise....

2008-03-18T20:44:00.002-04:00

thank you to all of my wonderful friends and family that left me multiple messages, emails, texts cards etc...on my birthday...i felt so incredibly loved!!!
we had an early release day on my birthday which means the kids leave at noon and we have meetings during the afternoon and then conferences from 4-6pm...it was about 1:30 and i was in a math meeting and we were working hard when dominic walked into my classroom with flowers...i was shaking soooooo bad...my heart was racing...i couldn't believe it...for those of you that don't know...dom and i hadn't seen each other in about 7 weeks...and i had to continue with my meeting and conferences...dominic went home and went to bed (he is used to sleeping all day and working all night)...it was a great weekend of quality time!
love you dominic...thanks for the surprise!!!

visit from courtney...

2008-03-11T23:09:00.002-04:00

it doesn't seem like it's already been about a month since dominic's sister courtney came to visit thura and i...she came out here over valentine's day weekend...dom was working and carson (her husband) was out of town...we had a great time...it was so fun to spend time with her...we went to the bobcat on friday night for dinner...saturday i took courtney to see the school that i teach at...we walked around bristol and then went to dinner at the black sheep...we came home and continued drinking wine and watched a couple of chick flicks...she left early on sunday morning...she had some bonding time with thura though...
thanks again for coming to see us courtney! good luck on the final interview!!!

chasing the rain

2008-03-11T22:23:00.005-04:00

last saturday it was raining most of the day...it came down and froze to everything...thura has never seen rain and was fascinated with watching it...she eventually tried to catch it as it ran down the outside of the window...
it was so fun to watch her...she has such a great personality...nice to have company after school...

A Blessing for a Friend on the Arrival of Illness

2008-03-07T10:01:00.003-05:00

This is a poem found by someone in my lyme online support group. It really hit me to the core and was a great reminder

For a Friend
by John O'Donohue

Now is the time of dark invitation
beyond a frontier that you did not expect.
Abruptly your old life seems distant.
You barely noticed how each day opened
a path through fields never questioned
yet expected deep down to hold treasure.

Now your time on earth becomes full of threat.
Before your eyes your future shrinks.
You lived absorbed in the day to day so continuous
with everything around you that you could forget
you were separate.

Now this dark companion has come between you.
Distances have opened in your eyes.
You feel that against your will
A stranger has married your heart.
Nothing before has made you feel so isolated
and lost.

When the reverberations of shock subside in you,
may grace come to restore you to balance.
May it shape a new space in your heart
to embrace this illness as a teacher
who has come to open your life to new worlds.
May you find in yourself a courageous hospitality
towards what is difficult, painful and unknown.

May you use this illness as a lantern
to illuminate the new qualities that will emerge in you.
May your fragile harvesting of this slow light help you
release whatever has become false in you.
May you trust this light to clear a path
through all the fog of old unease and anxiety
until you feel a rising within you,
a tranquility profound enough to call the storm to stillness.

May you find the wisdom to listen to your illness,
ask it why it came,
why it chose your friendship,
where it wants to take you,
what it wants you to know,
what quality of space it wants to create in you,
what you need to learn to become more fully yourself,
that your presence may shine in the world.

May you keep faith with your body,
learning to see it as a holy sanctuary
which can bring this night wound
gradually towards the healing and freedom of dawn.

May you be granted the courage and vision
To work through passivity and self-pity,
To see the beauty you can harvest
From the riches of this dark invitation.

May you learn to receive it graciously,
And promise to learn swiftly
That it may leave you newborn,
Willing to dedicate your time to birth.

more info on lyme

2008-03-05T09:05:00.002-05:00

this is a whole report done by a news anchor that contracted lyme...it is very interesting...watch the videos and check out the links...a lot of differing views to wade through

Lyme Reporter

thanks for staying educated on what im dealing with...love you all

HOUSE FOR SALE!!!!

2008-03-04T20:05:00.004-05:00

House for Sale

Check out this great buy! 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom townhouse in rosemount, minnesota...move into your dream house now!

to minnesota and back...

2008-03-03T18:53:00.006-05:00

well last week was a whirlwind...i got to mn monday night and after going to a couple different rental car companies i finally went to the one that i had actually rented from...haaaaaaaa...tuesday was filled with meeting realtors...seeing friends...and having the family and some friends over that night...it was so great to be able to see my loved ones again!! i woke wednesday and went shopping with faith for dresses...valissa and i watched a movie that afternoon...wednesday night i headed out to my mom's place for dinner with faith...i got to see my grandma rene...it was great to be able to spend time with her and with family...
thura wasn't sure about stairs being as she had never used them before...it was so funny to watch her walk up and down them...it didn't take long until furball had taken over and she was racing up and down and all around the house...
she also met lisa's dog buddy...instead of hissing like most cats do she started to growl...it was hilarious!!
her favorite spot was the bathroom sink...
thursday i went down to my old school and saw people i used to teach with and some of my former students...it was great...that night i headed over to cindy's to get together with some teacher friends...only a couple people made it but it was great to see them...cindy and i also got a chance to hang out and chat...
at the end of this busy week and all the fun...i was reminded of how incredibly happy i am with my life and where i am at!!!

first dose of new meds

2008-03-02T20:24:00.003-05:00

well here i am in the hospital for my first dose of the new meds...i had to get it in the hospital just to make sure i didn't have any bad reaction to it...i got there thinking it was going to take a couple hours...4 at the most...i was very surprised when they told me that it was going to be a 6 hour drip...so i watched a lot of bad tv...corrected some math...and slept...thankfully it was on a sat. and i didn't have any plans...
the home health nurse came today to show me how to do this all myself...i think it only took about 2-3 hours...can't remember because i fell asleep...the fastest im allowed to give it is over 2 hours...

finding the sun on a cloudy day....

2008-02-22T20:23:00.005-05:00

i went back to the lyme dr. on wednesday morning and found out that i am going to have as shelly calls it "my friend" the PICC line for another month...i will start it when i get back from my trip to minnesota...i just finished the last dose of the other med i was on tonight...i start with a week of rifampin and azithromycin...i will be on these while im in minnesota...when i get back i will be on doxycycline through the iv and bactrim orally...we are going to be treating both lyme and the co-infection that my dr. believes i still have since i had no response to this past round of meds...and the last time i was feeling well we had been treating both lyme and a co-infection...

so i was kinda bummed out about this until i talked to richard and he gave me some advice...he said "well kaela it is a good thing that they are still trying things...they haven't told you that there is nothing they can do"...this put a little perspective on the situation...so there was my first glimpse of the sun through the clouds...

the second came today when i found out that i got the job that i was applying for...i will be teaching half-time next year in the school that i am currently teaching in...i am very excited about this! a little more of the clouds started to burn away...

the last bit of sunlight came when i talked with the pharmacy in florida that will be providing me with the meds and everything i need to maintain the PICC line...(my insurance will not pay for anything to do with the iv and meds any more)...and i found out that it is only going to cost me $500 a week...this is still a lot but compared to the $1400 a week that we thought it was going to be this is great!!!

so the fight continues...

results...results...results...

2008-02-16T15:56:00.003-05:00

well i got the brain mri results back and things look pretty much normal...they found 2 black spots that aren't even a centimeter big in my white matter...(not sure what white matter is?)...these spots are due to inflamation from the lyme disease and will go away with the iv treatment...
iv treatment...well i will not know if i am continuing this treatment until friday morning when i meet with the lyme dr. again...looks like i might have it in longer then a month which means i am going to be appealing with my insurance company since they only pay for the medicine for a month...but more then likely i will have to pay for the antibiotic myself and they will supply all the stuff to maintain the picc line...we'll see im going to talk to the blue cross blue shield lady on sunday or monday...
that is all i know for now...i don't feel like im responding to the treatment yet?? but i know it can take awhile...the only thing that has gotten worse since starting treatment in my short term memory and attention span...(which wasn't great to begin with haaaaaa)...im not getting worse but not feeling better...YET!!!!!!

this is my brain on lyme....

2008-02-12T21:16:00.005-05:00

today i went to the hospital AGAIN to get an MRI of my brain...to, as i was told, make sure lyme is the only thing we are dealing with...which i am very cool with...would rather be safe then sorry...the mri guys gave me a cd with all the pictures of my brain on it so i could show my kids at school...and of course blog it! haaaaaaaaa
the GOOD NEWS is that I DO HAVE A BRAIN!!!! the bad news is that other then knowing that i have no idea what i am looking at in these pics...lol
this one looked like one of those african bullfrogs to me actually...i laughed out loud when i was scrolling through the pictures...
and this one kinda freaked me out!! so crazy huh...
i should find out the results in a few days im hoping...i go back to the lyme dr. a week from thursday...we'll see what he has to say then...i went to a new lady for acupuncture today..she had lyme herself...and works with my lyme dr. which is great...very happy with her...
thank you for all your well wishes and support...you guys are so awesome!!!!!!!!!!

everything you ever wanted to know about...

2008-02-10T12:26:00.000-05:00

urinals in europe...my dad put this montage together for my grandpa, papa, for his birthday...this was filmed while they traveled around scotland...

not a dry eye...

2008-02-10T00:56:00.000-05:00

when in san diego welcoming my brother and his buddies back from their 3rd tour in iraq we had multiple 'jam' sessions...lots of music and singing...my sister harmony sang the following song to all of us one night and there weren't many left with dry eyes...

dad's tribute to jake

2008-02-10T00:52:00.000-05:00

we had a welcome home party for jake while in bonaire over the holidays...my dad put together a short video for jake...

thank you jake and all the men and women that have lost their lives and continue to risk their lives so that we may live the life we live..and those less fortunate may have hope of a better life...

growing kitty

2008-02-09T23:15:00.000-05:00

when we picked thura up she was just barely 9 weeks old...and she weighed almost 2 1/2 lbs...
well thura is now 5 1/2 months...and is growing like crazy...here are a couple of pictures from our trip to san diego in november when she was wasn't quite 3 months old
she still loves to get between the computer and me...sprawl out on the couch...she has also picked up a few new games...she likes to play fetch with hair binders and straws...she also likes to push a tennis ball around the apartment...this is a video of her and the tennis ball

this is her a couple nights ago...sprawled out on the couch next to me...these next few were taken tonight...
she is such a great cat...she is now 7 lbs and growing...she is great to have around and so fun to watch and play with...im very grateful for her company!!

snow and lots of it...

2008-02-09T22:29:00.000-05:00

this is what i woke up to last thursday morning...and it was still snowing...we got about 2 feet of snow in about 2 days...it was so beautiful...we had lost almost all of our snow due to really high temps...
but after a couple days the week before of rain and ice...we got our snow...today jen and i went snowshoeing up the mountain right behind our place...it was the first time i've ever been snowshoeing...it was so much fun and so calming...it had started to snow just as we were leaving...it was so peaceful and inspiring...
we were out there for a couple of hours...while we were gone isadora and seth built a snowman...
if you go to www.badcolonies.org you will see how big it is compared to a 3 year old...i would say it is at least 8 feet tall...the snow was perfect for making a snowman...as you can see...
link to picture of snowman and isadora

princess bride must see

2008-02-09T09:49:00.000-05:00

Video Click Here

this is great....my family should really appreciate it!

Brain MRI and Job Interview

2008-02-09T09:34:00.000-05:00

well yesterday i was getting out of the shower as i heard my phone ringing...i quick ran out to the kitchen and it was my lyme dr. nurse...i was kinda surprised...she proceeded to inform me that i was scheduled to have a brain mri on tuesday morning at 11...she told me that my dr. wanted it done asap just to make sure lyme is the only thing we are dealing with...this kinda freaks me out but i guess it's better to be safe then sorry...but the real bummer is that im supposed to be observed for the teaching job im applying for at the same date and time as the mri....i left messages for my principal and sent her an email...
this morning i called the hospital and they were able to reschedule the mri for later in the day....yeah! so ill be observed in the morning and will go for my mri after lunch...

trip back to minnesota

2008-02-06T20:00:00.000-05:00

well i have been gone from minnesota since july 18th...a lot has happened since i left...and im finally heading back for a short week...mon-fri...im looking forward to seeing my friends and family!!! i have a week off from school and thura is going to join me on my trip...
if anyone out there is interesting in buying a house in minnesota let me know...im looking to sell mine asap!

countdown...

2008-02-01T18:56:00.000-05:00

dad is famous for his countdowns and i started doing my own countdowns to when i see dominic...my new countdown has become one that involves my PICC line...i just finished my first week of meds...im not having the same effects from this med as i did on the oral antibiotics...i think part of it has to do with not having it affect my stomach...who knows...i get sat and sun off from meds...just have to flush my lines...
giving the meds has gone better then i thought it would...i have had some very slight swelling in my upper arm and pain in my neck shoulder area which the nurses said could be signs of something wrong with the PICC line...so on wednesday night i drove myself to the er on the advice of my nurse to get an x-ray and just get the peace of mind that it wasn't the PICC...the signs of something going wrong with the PICC could also be symptoms of the lyme...long story short the dr. gave me the vibe that i was an idiot over-reacting and he didn't give me an x-ray...i left feeling stupid...but im still glad that i went
the nurse is coming this weekend to double check things....

P.I.C.C line in...

2008-01-27T22:18:00.000-05:00

well friday afternoon dominic and i headed into the hospital in middlebury...dom was shown the waiting room while i was taken to radiology to be prepped for the procedure...apparently the dr. thought my appointment was at 1pm while i thought it was at 12:30pm...oh well no harm done...at 12:45 the doc's nurse came and got me...she explained everything that was going to happen and put an iv into my left hand so they could get the dye into my vein...she then informed me that the dr. wasn't ready to see me yet...i went back to the changing room to wait...1:45 i was taken back and prepped...within an hour i was done and dominic and i were being led upstairs so i could get my first dose of the antibiotic...they needed to make sure i didn't have any reaction to meds...
saturday was spent with visits from the pharmacy lady that will be bringing my meds every week...(i get 5 days at a time)...then the home health nurse came and spent at least an hour and a half with us...she changed my dressings and showed me how to flush the 2 lines that i have...(i have to do that everyday)...
shelly suggested that i get some rubbermaid containers to store my stuff in so that i have it all in one spot and thura can't get at it...
here are my supplies...
i have to keep my medicine in the fridge so that it doesn't go bad...i take it out about an hour before i inject...
the health nurse came back today and watched me flush my own lines to make sure i would be able to do this all on my own tomorrow...here are some pics that dominic took...
this is an up close look at the insertion point...how did the doc do richard and shelly?
thanks for all the love, prayers and support!!!

the 'R' word...relapse...

2008-01-20T21:26:00.000-05:00

so i have been having some symptoms of lyme again for the past month or so...not super intense and not the same symptom consistently...night sweats, headaches, stiffness, aching, joint pain...the usual symptoms with lyme...but things have slowly been getting worse and thursday night was the worst cognitive symptoms that i have had so far...
last wednesday i went to school at 6am to workout with devon...i got there and couldn't do anything....my body felt heavy and i had little to no energy...devon told me to go home and sleep...i called for a sub and did just that...i slept from 7:30 til about noon...was awake for a couple of hours and then slept again until 5 or 6...was up for a few hours and then slept straight through til 7 am...thursday started out ok...i was really tired but other then that i was ok...i taught all day then headed to the bobcat for my serving shift...this is when things got rough...i couldn't seem to do anything right...i was forgetting about drink orders...i wasn't able to multi-task at all (which you have to be able to do when serving)...i was forgetting how to use the computer to put in orders and cash people out...people were telling me their orders and i wasn't writing down the correct things...i was a mess....
needless to say i walked out of work that night feeling like a complete idiot...i called dominic on my walk home and started crying...i was so scared, overwhelmed and feeling stupid...
this was a bit overwhelming for dominic because i haven't been sharing with anyone really the symptoms that i have been having over the past month so it came out of the blue for him...
i have decided to talk to my 3 different docs and see what they have to say...
so i have come to a few conclusions over the past couple of days:

1. i feel deflated because i thought i had beat lyme and now realize that i haven't yet...
2. i am tired of feeling like it consumes my life...not being able to honestly say that i feel good...
3. i am scared about what the future holds in terms of the lyme disease...
4. i have to keep fighting and this isn't going to beat me!!!

this is a website that i found tonight while doing some more research...
http://www.chroniclymedisease.com/

thank you for all your prayers and support...please read up on lyme disease if you get the chance...it is a very complicated disease that is surrounded by controversy...

a huge thanks and lots of love to dominic for being so amazingly patient with all the ups and downs that lyme takes me on...i love you more then words can say!

fun with family

2008-01-08T21:34:00.000-05:00

the holidays are a great time and i was blessed enough to be surrounded by loved ones for 2 weeks...
and to think that this photo was taken shortly after we got to the new year's eve party...

carson decides to see what the fish are up to while on our mushi mushi trip...
courtney joined all of us in some sparkler fun on new year's eve...

everyone just hanging and chatting down by the pool on christmas day...

jake and jum at the welcome home party for jake...jake and i on new year's eve...was so great to be able to be with him his first holiday season back home...

dad and shar enjoying each other at the welcome home dinner...

family picture on christmas eve

thank you for an amazing time...can't wait for christmas 08!!!!

fireworks on the island

2008-01-06T18:23:00.000-05:00

so the big thing with new years on the island is the fireworks...they are everywhere and can be massive...the tradition is on the 27 or 28 of december we all go into the barrios and go firework shopping...the money spent reaches the thousands...there always seems to be something that makes us laugh during the after fireworks drink at a local bar...
this is shelly negotiating the purchase of the little roosters...which we thought were so cute....

the warning is what we found funny about this especially the reporting part...
we also bought a million pagara...it is a firecracker that is rope-like and has a million little firecrackers along it...you light one end and the rest go like dominoes...
it comes in a huge wooden crate on a pallet...this is what it looks like before being put on road...

this is what it looks like before and then during...it is pretty amazing and so loud...
this is the mess that is left afterwards...we all get brooms and sweep it all up...you can hardly tell that anything has happened the next morning...

brotherly love...

2008-01-05T20:53:00.001-05:00

jake has been away from his marine buddies for a couple weeks and sure he is married but i think he misses that brotherly love... thankfully dominic seemed to be a decent replacement for him...these pictures were taken on our 'nacho night' after plenty of brights and margaritas...

'it's just too bad you two don't get along"